If you are expecting this article to be about how I went from a seasoned beer drinker to a refined consumer of liquor, you haven’t been paying attention to this blog. No, we would never consider not drinking beer in favor of liquor because we encourage drinking anything and everything until oblivion. This article concerns my ascension to a drinking master by way of my body evolving to accept alcohol as a high grade energy source.
I discovered this after I realized that I don’t get any hangovers any more. I used to have the worst hangovers of all time where I would basically be destroyed for a whole day. Over the last year, this slowly but surely has gone away and now I experience no ill effects. How exactly this happened I’m not sure, but I think I have grown new yet to be discovered organs to process alcohol. I think that after a night of serious drinking, my body has given the fuck up and has decided to accept the alcohol and use it for good! One of the last worst hangovers of my life was when I got fucked up the night before, then had to pitch in a softball game the next day. I stayed in bed til 3:30 pm that day, got up, took a shower, and threw up immediately after that. I then had to drive across Philly to pick up the Birdman and then drive all the way out to Newtown Square to play in a game. This took a considerable amount of effort because I felt like shit, but my attitude got me through it and I believe this was the turning point. My body most likely started to change that day. Full disclosure, I pitched a fucking gem of a game. Only let up 1 run that day.
I guess the point of this article is that if you are thinking about quitting drinking because you are getting too many hangovers and it’s affecting your life, you should consider drinking more heavily because you may evolve into a higher level human like myself and get superpowers, just like Jesus.