Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the only decision in life that matters. My belief is that life is a damn video game that is so complicated that we believe it’s real. There are a lot of paths we could take in life. These paths will lead to different outcomes in the video game. At then end of the day though, everything can be traced back to one decision you made back in the late 90’s. You must choose one and live with that decision forever.
WHICH MOVIE DO YOU PREFER?
INDEPENDENCE DAY OR ARMAGEDDON
Pros of Independence Day:
Will Smith punching aliens, Harry Connick Jr being an awesome wingman/dude you expect to die, the Bill Pullman president speech, JEFF GOLDBLUM as a computer hacker/peace activist hacking into an alien’s computer system and blowing them up with a nuke, Will Smith and the Blum smoking cigars after blowing up some aliens, and finally Animal Mother shooting aliens.
Cons of Independence Day:
Hard to take Bill Pullman seriously as the president after watching Spaceballs.
Pros of Armageddon:
BW is basically owning shit the whole movie, Ben Affleck tells BW that he loves him, Buscemi, the greatest actor of our generation acting his fucking ass off with the greatest reaction scene I’ve ever seen “my goddddd”, the russian space station guy, BW has hair, and splosions!
Cons of Armageddon:
Armageddon is a pretty long movie. It would be incredible if at the end of the movie, the asteroid actually still blew up the Earth (spoiler alert).
What does each choice say about you?
I don’t really think there is a wrong answer to this question, but depending on what you choose says a good deal about who you are as a man. For instance, if you choose Armageddon, it pretty much says that you are willing to die for a cause. If you choose Independence Day, It says that you don’t like aliens.
Both are admirable because fuck aliens and fuck rocks.
Want to start a fight?
Next time you are out at a crowded bar, order yourself a red bull and vodka, chug that shit, then get ready for chaos. Go up to a group of girls and guys and ask them what is better, Independence Day or Armageddon. Then take a step back and watch a fight break out.
You need to ask a group composed of girls and guys for a few reasons. First, most girls are retarded and won’t even know what you are talking about. They are used to guys coming up to them for the sole purpose of trying to fuck them. Asking them about what movie is better from the 90’s either gets a blank stare because they were too young to remember, or their brain explodes with an honest question. You need guys there because guys know what the fuck Independence Day and Armageddon are.
However, you also need the girls there because guys will become more competitive with each other with girls around. Somewhere in the back of their mind they are thinking, “am I going to fuck this chick tonight? I better win this argument to prove I’m the man!” They will start arguing with each other trying to prove their dominance. One of the girls will ask what those movies are and the guys will rush to explain everything.
If you really want to get them going, just ask about the opposite. What I mean by this is that if one of the guys answers with Independence Day, just respond by saying, “Yeah, but what about Armageddon??!?”
You may think I’m completely out of my mind. You may think that something this mundane couldn’t possibly start a fight. You’d be wrong. I have started a riot in a bar one time with bros from one side of the bar yelling at bros at the other side. It’s a fact!
It’s best to do this at around 1 AM when everyone is completely plastered to get the best effect.
There’s no answer that will satisfy anyone
If you decide to go down this road, be the instigator, but never join in the argument. There’s no winners here. It’s a rhetorical question that is used to start debate.
If you have the opposite opinion on what movie to choose from someone else, you will never convince them that you are correct. Never. Don’t even try. I could give you a point by point breakdown of each movie right now to show you why one movie is better than the other, but it would be in vain because you’re just going to argue with me to the end of time.
What movie do I like better?
You will never know.